Home is where the heart is...

Ramblings....

2009-06-06T06:36:00.000-07:00

24 days until we leave Calgary behind. The closer we get to moving day, the more nervous I get. I'm having so many mixed feelings about this whole thing and it's making me doubt some of our decisions. I SO want to be back home with our family and friends and I want to settle down somewhere in our own house so we can stop paying someone else's mortgage. I want to be able to go to all the gatherings, birthday parties, anniversaries, weddings, etc without paying $4000 to fly the family out. On the other hand, with the economy the way it is, I am terrified we won't find jobs and we won't be able to pay our bills. We've never in the entire time we've been together borrowed money from anyone and we're proud of that. We don't want to have to ask for help. We have always managed on our own. I think the scariest part is not knowing what's going to happen or where we'll end up. If we had no kids and it was just us, it would probably be a little exciting but we have two little angels to feed, clothe, and house. I don't want to let them down. Regardless of the small doubts, we are going forth with the move and we know things will work out in the end. They always do.

Anyway, things are moving along here in the Wormell house. We have managed to get rid of some more stuff this week on Freecycle and Kijiji. We have some boxes packed and we are planning on packing one or two bedrooms this weekend while the weather is crappy (snowing in June...WTH?). We went to U-Haul last night and booked the hitch installation for June 14 and made a reservation for the trailer we will be pulling across the country. We also bought Brooklyn a portable DVD player since her big sister has one and neither of them is interested in watching the other's show. We figured the $80 was worth our sanity for the 6 days we will be on the road! lol It should be an interesting trip.

We went on a road trip to the mountains last weekend too. Man I'm going to miss those. The Rockies are G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S! We went to Lake Louise for the first time and it was breath taking. We also took the kids on the Gondola in Banff. Emma was scared on the way up but was fine on the way down. Brooklyn was terrified...poor thing! She had a death grip on both Matt and I while in the Gondola. I guess her depth perception is better than we thought! At the top of Sulphur Mountain, it was windy and cold, but we felt like we were on top of the world. The view up there is priceless! They say a picture is worth a thousand words but in this case, the best photographer in the world couldn't capture the true beauty of it all!

Lake Louise...

Banff Gondola...

Me & my girls...

The beautiful view on Sulphur Mountain...

Perfect day!

2009-05-17T20:13:00.000-07:00

Today was such a wonderful day. We started off by packing a picnic and heading off to the zoo but when we got there and we saw that half that city had decided to go to the zoo today too, we decided to go to a place we'd been wanting to go for a while....Heritage Park. We got there around lunch time so we found a picnic table and had our lunch. Mmm...subs, homemade potato salad & fruit salad, & cheese slices. Nothing says summer like a picnic in the park!

After our picnic, we headed off to see the exhibits. The old houses, furniture, toys, cars/trucks, schools, hospital, police station, post office, mercantile, barns, dentist etc. It was all so simple back then. Sometimes it makes me wish we lived in those times. But then I think of all the conveniences we have now and it'd be hard to give some of those up. It was also amazing to see how much more advanced we are now. We compared my Iphone to an old phone and it was so funny to see the comparison! It's scary to think where technology will be 100 years from NOW when you think about where it was 100 years ago.

We toured the park and Matt took Emma on the S.S Moyie and I took her on the train. Poor Brooklyn didn't get to do much but walk around and ride in her stroller 'cause she is still too small for most things. She still had fun though! Between walking around the park and the sun shining down on us all day, we were all pretty exhausted at the end of the day. Both kids fell asleep in the car on the way home.

Here are a few more pictures of our day out:

Brooklyn sitting pretty...

The ONLY time Emma will be in a jail cell....

And kids think school is bad now...

The train Emma & I went on...

Matt & Emma on the S.S Moyie....

I wish things were still this cheap....

Matt's drink of choice....

Me and one of the three loves of my life...

Before & After

2009-05-13T11:46:00.000-07:00

This is Emma before the surgery and after the surgery:

It made a huge difference and we are very happy with the results! She is now finally feeling back to normal. She even went to school today! She couldn't wait to get back to school!

Emma's surgery...

2009-05-09T12:45:00.000-07:00

So Emma had her surgery two days ago. It was the scariest experience of my life. I don't think anything can every prepare you for seeing your child hooked up to machines and knocked out. I was on the verge of tears all morning.

The night before the surgery, everybody went to bed at a decent time 'cause we knew the next day would be long and we would all need our strength. Well, it turns out, with the exception of Brooklyn, none of us got very much sleep that night. Emma was up a couple of times for juice because that's all she could have up until 6:00am and she decided to sleep with us for a while because she was scared and nervous. At 4:00, Matt woke up and ran to the bathroom. A few minutes later, Emma and I could hear him throwing up. What a horrible time to get sick! He ended up sleeping on the couch the rest of the night. Emma and I got up at 6:00 to start getting ready to go to the hospital and Matt was still very sick. So, he unfortunately ended up staying home instead of coming with us.

I dropped Brooklyn off at Cindy's (who, by the way, is a saint for taking our 18 month old while already having 4 kids under 6 herself!) and we headed for the hospital. I started getting an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach but didn't want to let my nerves get the best of me. I had to stay strong for Emma. She was admitted and brought to a room where I helped her change into hospital pyjamas and vital signs/weight/height were taken. We then had to wait about 45 minutes for someone to take us to the holding room for day surgeries. She watched Spongebob on a DVD player that was in a drawer in the room while we waited to go in. Finally, the man showed up to take us in and we were introduced to the anesthesiologist. I was told to go sit in the day surgery family waiting room while they wheeled my baby away to the operating room. :( It was so hard when they took her away from me. I was biting my lower lip and fighting back tears all the way back to the waiting room.

About an hour after I was seperated from my little girl, I was paged to return to the recovery room. I got there just as they were bringing her in. I almost lost it when I saw her for the first time. She was hooked up to a few machines and opened her eyes long enough to see that I was there, then she went back to sleep. I wanted to cry so badly and it took everything inside me to not let the tears spill over. It was so hard seeing her that way. I wanted to make everything better for her.

We ended up staying in recovery for a couple of hours while Emma slept. Between not getting very much sleep the night before and the anesthetics, she was so tired. We were given a prescription for eye drops to pick up at the pharmacy on the way out. Three different eye drops, one ointment, a bottle of codeine, and $80 later, and we were on our way home. And what a long drive home that was for Emma. It was overcast thankfully, but she still wore a sun hat to shield the light from her eyes. We were told to bring a bucket in case she felt nauseated on the way home so she held on to that as well.

It's been about 50 hours since her surgery now and she is finally starting to come around and feel like herself. The last couple of days have been rough on her. She's had a headache on and off, a very sore eye, and the first night home, she had a very upset tummy. Today, she's been able to open her eye fully and has been feeling a lot less pain. The biggest pain of all right now is having to give her 3 different drops 4 times a day, tylenol & codeine as needed, and the ointment in her eye. She's been such a trooper and is taking it all very well. She's been resting a lot and when she's not resting, she's usually watching a little tv or eating (which she's been doing almost non-stop since the day of the surgery....the poor kid is starving!).

We have to go back to see the Ophthalmologist in two weeks for a post-op appointment. Hopefully all the pain and agony Emma is going through will all be worth it in the end. My poor baby girl. :(

So much to do, so little time...

2009-04-24T09:37:00.001-07:00

So I haven't blogged in over a month. Not sure why, just didn't really have a whole lot to say I guess (I know, not like me at all! lol). We've been really busy this past month. Matt was laid off again unfortunately. That's 3 times in one year. It seems almost everybody we know is getting laid off or has gotten laid off in the last year too. The effects of a recession unfortunately. Makes it a little tough to save for a move across the country. Thankfully, it only took a few weeks for him to find a new job and I like to think my job is pretty secure. Kids will always need to get to school somehow so until our kids are going to school Jetson style, I will be driving them in my big yellow limousine! :) Another good thing is we finally got an answer from the government as to when we will be getting the money they owe us. It will be deposited in our account next week! So financially, we are back on track and where we are supposed to be!

There is just over 2 months left before the big day and we have SO much to do! When I sit and think about it, it's a little overwhelming. We have to:

Price and put a hitch on the car
A few minor car repairs (slow leak on one tire, air bag light stays on)
Get packing supplies
Reserve a Uhaul trailer
Apply for jobs back home
Purge, sell, clean and pack
Ship some boxes home
Plan our route
Reserve hotels for the trip

On top of that, Emma's surgery is coming up in two weeks and we are both working up until the very end of June. So much to do, so little time!

Get your story straight!

2009-03-18T10:18:00.000-07:00

In January, after doing a little bit of research, I found out that we should be receiving a bonus twice a year from the AB government called the Alberta Family Employment Tax Credit. So, I called them and was told the government wasn't clear when we officially moved from NB to AB and that's why we haven't been receiving it. Ok, then I'm told I have to fax in a letter stating when our move date was and my S.I.N #, address etc etc. So I did that at the beginning of February. I called at the end of February to make sure they had received it and if it was being processed and I was told "yes, mam it's been received and it could take up to 12 weeks to process." Ok, no problem...as long as it's been received and we've gotten the ball rolling, I'm happy!

Well, we are now almost at the end of March and I know it hasn't been 12 weeks yet, but something was telling me I should call just to make sure...so I called this morning. The lady I talked to said "no you didn't have to send that request in at all and I've just changed the date on your file but you might get a letter asking for proof of your move date before we can process it." WTF? Are you kidding me? Why wasn't I told this 2 MONTHS ago when I first called? The goverment owes us $1770! That could be really useful for our move across the country, but god only knows when we'll get it! I find it incredibly funny that the AB government knew our move date when they decided to start charging us for AB Health every month but when they owe us money, all of a sudden, they lose that information!! Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhh! They're so frustrating!

Feeling better...

2009-03-12T10:55:00.001-07:00

It's amazing what a little sun can do for a person! I've been feeling kind of down in the dumps lately and didn't really know why. The last few days, the sun has been shining and it's starting to warm up! I can almost feel spring in the air! Yay! I've had so much more energy! I love spring, summer, and fall...but I could definitely do without winter! I think I must be part bear 'cause I pretty much hibernate in the winter. I'm not the person who goes skiing, sliding, or skating on a regular basis. I would much rather be laying on a beach somewhere soaking up some rays! :) Must be the Maritimer in me!

Speaking of good things, we got a call the other day from Emma's Ophthalmologist. Her eye surgery is now booked for May 7! We are so happy she'll be able to get this done before we move. One of things we've been very grateful for while living in Calgary is having access to one of the best children's hospital in the world. The Alberta Children's Hopsital is wonderful! We've been there several times for both of our girls and we've had nothing but great service! We are all a little nervous for Emma's surgery, but Matt and I are trying to be strong for Emma. Hopefully it will go well.

Feeling blah....

2009-03-04T09:11:00.000-08:00

So today is just one of those days where you just wanna stay in bed and not talk to anybody. I tend to feel that way a certain time of the month. Ugh...I just want to get the next 3 3/4 months over with. I am so sick of this place it hurts. I want my friends, my family, the ocean. I want to get to wherever I'm going within 10 minutes. I want to not be afraid to take my kids outside to play. I want to be able to go for a walk without looking behind me as I walk. I want to come home to a place I feel comfortable in. I want to turn on the radio without hearing about the latest murder victim. I want to enjoy life again! I want to not feel like this. Ugh...this is depressing. I know some people love the city life but I don't think I was made for this. I think I might have a touch of S.A.D. too. I dunno....

I'm also feeling a bit anxious and overwhelmed with everything that needs to get done before we move. There's SO much to do! The de-cluttering alone is overwhelming. We also need to get some boxes and start packing, ship some of our belongings, rent a U-Haul trailer, get a hitch installed, get the car looked at, sell/give away/get rid of junk, book hotels for the trip, apply for jobs back East etc etc etc. I need to make a list and time schedule. Lists always help me keep my sanity.

I'm such a downer today....I'll feel better tomorrow I'm sure.

I love my job, I love my job....

2009-02-23T10:20:00.000-08:00

That's what I have to keep telling myself when I look outside on a day like today. I have never hated winter driving as much as I have since living in Calgary. Back east, cities have a thing called a snow removal budget and they also have a plan in place for when it does snow. Here in Calgary, they barely have a budget let alone a plan. I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I've seen a plow in the last three years! Back east, they also cancel school when the roads are bad because they care about the welfare of the bus drivers, the children, and the teachers. Here, school never gets canceled. Sun or snow, schools are always opened! And guess what? It's calling for snow every day this week!

In January, I was so annoyed when I heard a story on the radio about a guy in Calgary that wanted to help out his neighbors by clearing his street with his small snow plow. The city's information and service line had been flooded with calls for days regarding snow removal because everyone kept getting stuck in the snow. They were told it wasn't a priority! Nothing had been plowed except the main roads so this guy wanted to be a good citizen and help out the people in his community. Well, he was told by the city that he couldn't do that because he needed a permit. So, the city wouldn't do it but nobody else was aloud to do it either!! Ugh, how frustrating!

Anyway, onto another subject! We had a terrific weekend! Before we move, we want to go to certain places we probably won't be visiting for a real long time, if ever again! So, on Saturday, we made a trip to Edmonton to spend the day at West Edmonton Mall. We left home at about seven and the weather was beautiful! It was a perfect day for a road trip! :) We arrived in Edmonton around ten forty five and started walking around the mall. We took a few pictures here and there and decided to have an early lunch at Tony Roma's. Yum! It was delicious! We walked around some more and made our way to Galaxyland for some fun on the rides! Emma and I went on our very first roller coaster together! That's right, it was my first time too! lol We were so proud of her! It was a pretty scary ride and she was a bit scared while we were on it, but she walked out of there with a huge smile! After some more rides, we enjoyed walking around some more and had some ice cream. It was an all around great day! The kids both fell asleep on the way home! They were so exhausted!

More things on our list of things to do/see before we move:

Weekend in the Rockies
Calgary Tower
Calgary Zoo

Feeling grateful....

2009-02-17T09:48:00.000-08:00

I often find myself feeling discouraged and disappointed in myself because I don't have the career I always thought I would have, a nice house, vacations etc. I've made bad choices; we've made bad choices. But, Matt and I are tired of living with regret, living in the past, living with the what ifs and the shoulda, coulda, wouldas. We've been discussing this a lot lately. We want our kids to be proud of us and be able to provide a nice future for them. We can't change the past so why dwell on it? All we can do is change things in the future.

I woke up this morning feeling very grateful for what we have. I felt Matt's arm around me and suddenly thought about everything we do have, instead of focusing on what we don't have. Lately, I've been hearing about friends losing their jobs, their houses, their loved ones, going through domestic abuse and/or divorce, having fertility issues etc. I began to think how lucky am I to have a warm place to sleep and a loving husband to share it with? How lucky am I to have 2 beautiful healthy girls who bring joy to my life every single day? We may not be living in our dream house, be able to buy the latest trends, or travel a lot, but wow, how lucky are we?

One of the changes we want to make in the near future, other than moving back east of course, is have Matt go back to school. His whole life, he's had a passion for History. He eats, sleeps, and breathes History. Every book he reads, show/movie he watches, game he plays has something to do with it. Since the day I met him, he always said he would like to someday teach or do something in History. So, there is no time like the present time. We're looking into classes he can start taking online in the fall.

We're both very excited about the possibilities! It will be interesting to see what the future brings us, but in the mean time, we'll be grateful for the gifts we've been given! :)

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Author Unknown

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T17:05:00.001-08:00

So today, we took the girls for their very first hair cut. I've always cut Emma's hair since she was a baby so it was her first time getting her hair done professionally too. They both did great! Emma had a lot of fun getting pampered with her hair shampooed, cut, braided, curled, and sparkled! :) She looked like a princess when they were done with her! Brooklyn just got a bang trim but it made her look so much older! She's changed so much in the last little while! Here are some before and afters:

Tonight, Matt and I are going to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie together after the kids are in bed. With us trying to save for our big move, we're trying to be as "frugal" as we can. So we're having a nice Valentine's Day at home. Sometimes it's the simple things in life that are meaningful. :) Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Today's To Do list....

2009-02-13T09:14:00.000-08:00

So other than driving daddy to work and back, we're staying in today. I'm going to try and get some stuff accomplished. This is my list so far:

Wash dishes
Do laundry
Clean & organize Emma's room
Play with the kids
Make a grocery list

Hopefully most of these will get done today! Emma's room is a disaster right now. It looks like a tornado hit. I don't know how it gets so out of hand so fast! I NEED to get in there and get rid of some stuff. She has so many things she doesn't play with anymore. We will be donating a lot of stuff in the next little while.

Then tonight, after all the work is done, Emma and I are going to have a "girl's night." We're going to do each other's nails, make some popcorn, and watch Mamma Mia for the first time. :) Matt and I try to have special times with each of the girls as often as we can. We feel it's important to have one on one time with them as well as family time. When they get older, we want them to have plenty of special memories of their childhood. We want them to look back on all the fun times we had together and smile. They don't stay little very long so it's all about the kids right now!

A day out with the girls...

2009-02-12T19:45:00.000-08:00

The girls and I had some fun today. We went to Let's Play. Ok, the girls had fun while I chased after Brooklyn for 2 hours. Well, I did enjoy talking to Cindy while we chased after our little ones. It was Brooklyn's first time at a play place and the place was a zoo! I was a nervous wreck watching the other bigger kids walk/run/play around her. She got knocked over several times and came close to getting kicked and hit a few times too. It was funny because at first, she was uncomfortable and clung to me but the longer we stayed there, the more uncomfortable I was and the more I clung to her! lol She suddenly didn't look like a baby to me anymore. It made me sad in a way. I wish she could stay a baby a little while longer. They grow up so fast! Emma had a blast too. She came out of the climbing structure and was soaked in sweat from running around so much! It's nice to see them have so much fun! I love to see smiles on their faces. :)

Some time off....

2009-02-11T11:35:00.000-08:00

Just 1 more bus run and I have 5 days off with my beautiful girls! There is a teacher's convention here on Thursday and Friday and Monday is Family Day so that means no school...and no work for me! :) Matt will be home with us Saturday through Monday too so we'll be spending lots of family time! I'm looking forward to it!

We're going to take the opportunity to get some stuff done while we're off. I think I'm going to go room by room and start putting stuff aside to either purge, give away, or sell. It's going to feel so good to get rid of some stuff. I always feel so much better after I've cleaned and organized. Too bad I don't get the urge to do it more often! lol

We also need to take the girls for a haircut this weekend. Especially Brooklyn! The poor girl constantly has her hair in her eyes! It's getting so long. She's not the type of kid who likes to sit still for too long so it should be interesting to see how that goes. We're taking them to Beaners so hopefully there will be enough distractions to get through the haircut.

Ahhh...it'll be nice to have such a long weekend!

Our big plans!

2009-02-10T12:13:00.000-08:00

So I've decided to start a blog. Just a way for me to get my feelings and thoughts out. There is so much going on in our life right now and when I sit and think about it, it's a little overwhelming and scary. You see, three years ago, we took a leap of faith and decided to move our little family across the country to try and make a better life for ourselves. We couldn't wait to get out of the Maritimes back then but now, here we are, three years later, preparing to move back home. Since we've been in Alberta, it just hasn't worked out the way we'd planned. We thought we would love the big city life but we came to realize, we're small town folk. So as Bon Jovi put it, who says you can't go home?

So, the big move is going to happen at the end of June, 2009. We're going to finish out the school year and then hit the road. We're packing up the car and installing a hitch so we can pull a little trailer with some of our stuff. It's going to be a long drive with a six year old and a twenty month old but hopefully it will all be worth it in the end. I'm so excited! It's really bittersweet for me because I've made some really great friends here that I am going to miss dearly, but I can't wait to be near family again. And by family I mean our close friends too. We're in the process of de-cluttering and organizing so we can lighten the load a bit. It's amazing how much crap one family can accumulate!